Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Somewhere….over the rainbow

Fair warning:  This may make you cry if you are one of my long-lost relatives or friends in Michigan.  Apparently, I have the ability to make people drop some tears (even when I don’t mean to).  So, my apologies to all beforehand…

I love the Wizard of Oz.  Yep, I do.  I realize that not everyone feels the same way, and I could see someone getting freaked out or scared by some of the characters.  I get it.  But I still love it.

One of my most favorites parts is when Judy Garland sings Over the Rainbow.  I just love the song and her voice…just do.

I have a point, so bear with me.

This song has special meaning to my heart because not only do I love it, but it is a song that I just randomly started singing to my niece when she was little.

Then my nephew.

Then my babies.

In fact, when the twins were still small infants I was singing this song to Sabrina one time and Lexi looked kind of sad.  I remember even blogging about this back then….I realized that it was a special song to her and asked her if I could sing it to her.  She told me yes, she didn’t mind sharing her rainbow song with Sabrina.  Even now, the memory of that display of affection brings tears to my eyes.

So tonight was my night with Sammy.  Jason and I take turns after story time tucking each twin in and then switch back to hug and kiss the other goodnight.  Sammy still enjoys “rocking a minute” before bedtime, and to be quite honest, mama does too.  Usually, we just rock for a few minutes before he is ready to lay in bed.  I cherish those moments because I know they won’t last for long.

Tonight I sang the rainbow song to him and he peacefully drifted off to sleep within about ten minutes.  I was holding him there while he slept, still singing the rainbow song when I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

I didn’t really know at first why I was crying.  I do get emotional over the babies getting bigger…and I cherish small moments like that.  But while I was rocking Sammy I was overwhelmed with a flood of memories from back home…mostly centered around my niece and nephew and I realized that’s why I started to cry.

I miss them.

It’s a no brainer that I miss everyone but that life must go on as always.  And we are really doing okay…getting to know people, getting the house settled…everything.

But even the most optimistic person has a moment every now and then.

Today was mine.

Lexi and Lenny, I know you might not be able to read this, but I know your mama will.  So I know mama will give you both a big ole’ hug from Chochi, Uncle Jay and the twins.  We love you so very much.

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